No Two Alike

Don't worry if your family or friends respond to the suicide differently than you do. By now you've probably heard it said, "We all grieve differently." Of course we do. No two people think alike or look alike, so no two people are going to grieve alike.

Some cry.
Some don't.

Some make jokes to hide the pain.
Some believe laughter is offensive while grieving.

Some read everything they can find.
Some need time before they can seek help.

Some talk to anyone who will listen because it helps them sort their thoughts.
Some withdraw so tightly into themselves that others find it difficult to approach them.

Some people do all of the above.
Some may be completely different.

When suicide grief is new and fresh, it may be all we can do to get out of bed and take a shower. Over time, however, we might be able to go to work, talk to others, look at photo albums, admit our feelings, go back to church.

Grief has no destination. It's not a fixed point on a line graph, but rather a 3D sphere that rolls where it rolls. Within the course of a day, it can roll from joy to tears to anger to numbness and back to joy.

Allow yourself time and grace.
Do the same for those around you.

Even if you don't understand someone else's way of grieving, don't dismiss their grief as wrong. Be patient with them as well as yourself. Your stress level will be a lot lower if you remove your expectations and just...grieve.